Exams

It's my mid-year exam and I'm sort of stressed. It seems like I have a lot of expectations to live up to. My teacher is expecting me to turn out top again but I don't think I can, with the numerous exams I missed and the days I was absent at school. Really, does nothing matter at all except scores? It's like I'm noticed because of my brain, or rather, I have friends because of my brain. I don't know, it might just be a feeling I have which is not true at all.

So let's see, our exams, we're expected to memorize many many facts. Not the main point of exam at all. Isn't exam supposed to test what we have learned? And do we learn to memorize things in school? Why can't there be open-ended questions or questions where we can apply what we've learned into our answers? If it's just for testing my memory, I don't have to do it, because my memory has been tested to be at the 99.9th percentile. It's unfair for the others as my memory is way above the ceiling. For those with bad memory, there's no hope that they can get good scores then. Pointless. And it's very boring too. We're always repeatedly tested on the same thing. And everyone who knows me knows that I hate repetitive work. Really really hate.

We have about 2 hours for a paper. I don't know what to do during that period of time. It's boring and it's so long too and the teacher said that if you do it with much earnestness, the time is just nice. I usually finish in 15-30mins, so what does that imply? That I just simply do it? I can't understand why so much time has to be allocated for us to answer our paper, neither do I understand why we can't leave once we finish. Of course, it might be a distraction but oh well, exceptions should be made. That's the system. Rigid, inflexible. Can't expect more from them!

I feel as if I'm rotting. I used to study at least 2 weeks before exam, but now I only start studying a day before exam! One thing, I still can manage, so I guess I shouldn't complain too much, but I feel really bad about it. And I don't want to burn out but I might, from boredom and routine and dull work.